We all do it. Say we want to do something, complain that we’re not doing it, resolve to do it, then still don’t quite get to it.
We’re professional procrastinators, masters of excuses, and world class self-beater-uppers.
Yet it things don’t get done.
In large part it’s about comfort/discomfort. Until we reach that critical point of discomfort, most of us simply don’t get over the inertia of the status-quo.
Then when we do reach it, we boomerang the opposite direction, going full force toward that which we kept putting off, only to snap sharply back as our bungee of comfort gets stretched too tight. Very few of us ever really break that cord, so the change we want to make feels like effort – huge effort – and it’s just too dang hard to keep up for the long term.
That’s why diets ultimately fail, exercise plans don’t last past a few weeks, and attempts at getting organized don’t quite make it past the planning or “got 1 drawer done” stage. We spend lots of money on gadgets, programs and people to help us with this stuff, as if money can magically change who we are.
But it can’t, so we end up chasing solution after solution but ultimately things don’t change. At least not unless we decide to remain diligent forever. And who wants to do that? Not me!
So what do you do if you really, truly want a different life experience than you have but you’re not really doing much about it.
The first step, which seems completely counterproductive, is to stop trying. Stop thinking about it, planning, beating yourself up for failing, and all that. Accept that you are who you are and this is how life is for you. Because right now it is. Accept it, embrace it and love it!
But do it anyway. Love it as much as you ever loved anything. Love it until you’re bursting at the seams with the pure ecstasy of procrastination and mediocrity!
Then from that platform, bursting with love, expand into something more. Expand into a bigger bubble of you. If you’re larger than you want to be, then be the fat person who loves food and expands into completely enjoying the experience of eating. Give yourself permission to eat whatever and whenever you want. Give yourself permission to enjoy life at your current size and level of energy. Get new clothes. Make yourself beautiful. LOVE who you are – as you are.
Same goes with everything else. If you’re messy then revel in that messiness. If you’re tired then spend every moment you can sleeping, if you battle with laundry then let it pile up, loving the mountains of soft clothes all around you. LOVE IT! Love it completely and without shame. Absolutely LOVE whatever it is you previously wanted to change and fully embrace the experience! I mean it. Do this until you’re absolutely thrilled with whatever it is you used to beat yourself up about.
And as you do you’ll find that you start naturally seeing and doing things differently. You may find different foods appeal to you, or you one day decide to clear out the laundry room for another project or you find your kitchen somehow got organized. It won’t seem like a struggle or that you did anything different, but yet something, somewhere will have changed and you WILL be doing something different. You’ll talk different and walk a little taller as your confidence soars. You will become interested in things that you were “supposed” to do before but never quite started. And over time you will find that the thing you used to complain and beat yourself up about has mysteriously disappeared from your life. And even if it hasn’t, it won’t matter because you’ll have made peace with it and spend your says focusing on things you actually enjoy doing.
Not because you forced change, but because you BECAME what you are now. It’s not about changing. It’s about becoming.