Sometimes something happens that really trips my emotions and I find myself completely overwhelmed and sometimes even crying nonstop (I’m not a crier so this is rare).
And sometimes, when I look at it objectively, I can’t figure out why that one thing or person got to me so much. Kind of like watching a sad part in a movie and bawling your eyes out yet at the same time knowing it’s just a movie and not real.
Has this ever happened to you? Do you know why?
For me (barring hormones because after all I am female), examination of the facts usually reveals some connection to my past. Something is happening or someone is acting in a way that triggers me, causing an overflow of emotions out of proportion to the current situation.
Yes, I realize this all sounds a bit clinical but I’m in a clinical mood today so bear with me….
“X” happens in the past and it devastates me at the time. It really shakes my confidence, causes trust issues, and major relationship trauma. Time goes on and I may think I’m over it, or may have even forgotten it. But one day something else happens, not nearly as big a deal as that first time but enough to trigger that feeling all over again. It can be as simple as someone saying a few innocent words, the smell or taste of a certain food, a piece of music, or a scene in a movie. Or it can be more complex like a job change, move, starting a new hobby or vacationing in a certain place. Maybe not even “the” place but some place with some similarity.
Whatever it is the emotion hits hard and I’m left crying my eyes out, an emotional wreck who is almost unable to function. Sometimes in the middle I even find myself wondering why I’m reacting this way to such a small thing. I mean I cried over cheesecake once and really… that a major traumatic event?
I used to get lost in my funk and the emotions would run away with me. Nowadays not so much. I’m much better at realizing that my tears disproportionate to the size of that slice of cheesecake and being able to turn my attention to what’s behind it. Sometimes it becomes apparent right away. Sometimes it takes a while. But ultimately I come to a memory that’s at the root of my trouble, and I can see the connection between then and now.
Insight is very powerful and this is usually enough to dry my tears.
Life really is like onions huh? Layers and layers and layers. And like onions, those layers sure can make you cry sometimes. Ya know?