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Dec 132014
 

I ran across this Michelangelo quote: The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.

greater-danger-Michelangelo

 

What do you think about it?  At first glance I thought it was pretty cool but then I had second thoughts.

People are always telling us to aim high, reach for the stars and dream bigger.  That’s all well and good but sometimes setting our sights too high can actually keep us from reaching our goals.

Think about it.  If you tell someone who can’t walk to set a goal of running a marathon how do you think that will make them feel?  For a select few holding that vision will get them up out of that wheelchair, but for most the idea seems so far fetched they’ll probably just laugh at you.  Or worse, get depressed because they see absolutely no way to make that happen.  On the other hand, setting a goal of standing might be achievable.  From standing they might take a few steps, then more until one day they’ve walked clear across the room.  From there they might step onto the porch, walk down the driveway, then the street, then around the block.  And maybe someday the idea of a marathon will seem not only doable but exciting!

If I could talk to Michelangelo I think I’d tell him that to me the greater danger is to let your first goal be your only goal, and forget that it’s simply one step toward better and better things.

What do you think?

 Posted by at 9:16 am
Dec 112014
 

Ahhh the reality vs. illusion debate.  Recently I found myself in a discussion about weather life is real or an illusion. The argument was that it’s all just illusion anyway so why worry about any of it? Better to live life in the present, stay in the flow and simply allow. Yeah, that’s the ticket to living a happy, abundant, fulfilled life. Right?

No!!!!!!

Yes, on some higher plane it may be an illusion but so what? We’re on THIS plane, experiencing this life and to sit there and tell someone who is having a really hard time of it to just “relax and allow” is not only uncaring and irresponsible but doesn’t do a damn thing to improve their experience in the here and now.

What people need is something real, something practical that has a concrete, positive impact on what they’re dealing with today. Not tomorrow, next week, or eventually. But right now, when they’re in the thick of things and nothing is working, the Universe isn’t delivering and life just plain sucks.

And that, in truth, is the life a lot of people face every single day.

They need to feel heard, understood and cared for as they live (and sometimes suffer) the things in their own lives. Yes, eventually we get to “relax and allow” but everyone needs to go there at their own pace and in a way that makes sense to them.

See here’s the thing. Most of us are out of the flow in many areas of our lives. Not only that but we have no idea how to get in the flow, what the flow even looks like or what direction it is even in. And often, because it is so far out of our experience and ability to perceive it, it appears as a terrifying, raging river instead of a soothing, gentle stream. It literally feels like jumping to our death and I can’t think of many people who want to do that.

On the other hand, everyone has areas of their life that they already see the illusion and they are able to relax and allow, and these areas of life are working for them. As a coach, part of the job is to gently guide them to recognize these areas and help them apply it to the parts of their lives that aren’t working this way.

Now I’m not going to lie or try to fluff it up here.

This can be very hard work! The forces keeping us out of the flow are powerful and almost entirely subconscious and there are many layers to get through in order to break free of the things that are making us miserable. Illusion or not the consequences in our everyday lives are very real and can be extremely painful and it takes courage, work, persistence and usually time to get through them. There are breakthroughs and those are amazing as large chunks of the illusion fall away, but often it feels like a never ending journey into frustration and despair.

You CAN do it though and bit by bit you can mold your life into that fantasy you’ve been dreaming about.  In other words… you can turn the illusion into your reality 🙂

There are many great resources to help you, and of course I’m here too if you need me.  It’s a personal and very intimate journey so don’t get discouraged if it takes a while to find your unique path.  Keep at it, celebrate your victories no matter how small) and you’ll get there.  I know you can do it!

 Posted by at 11:23 am
Nov 042014
 

We are all works in progress. We are always evolving, never finished, and constantly changing.

So the next time you think

When I lose XX pounds…

When I retire….

When I save $$$ money…

When the kids are grown…

When I’m out of school…

When I get a new job…

When I get that facelift…

When I get married…

When I get divorced…

When my parents are gone (sad but I know many caretakers who feel this way because of the incredible burden of caring for aging parents)…

When I get a new house, or car, or computer, or whatever…

When I find the man/woman of my dreams…

Remember that these accomplishments, no matter how huge, are still just a single moment in the eternity of YOUR LIFE!

Because after the weight loss or kids growing up or new house or car, or that someone coming into or leaving your life…. After all that there will be another “When I…..” lurking around the corner.

So stop saying when! Know that you’ll never get it done and just start doing it today, right now, exactly as you are.

Do it at this weight, this address, with kids in tow, in this job, in this city, with this relationship. Or all by yourself.

Stop saying “when I” and start talking in present and even past tense.

Today I….. Yesterday I. Last week/month/year I….

And soon you’ll find you have so many amazing experiences and happy memories that you won’t even remember then “when I” that used to make you put things off.

Try it 🙂

 Posted by at 6:50 pm
Oct 152014
 

to-do-list

The other day I was feeling quite unaccomplished, like my business wasn’t really going anywhere and my goals weren’t being met. I was kind of beating myself up for not being more focused, missing more than a few self-imposed deadlines, not always meeting my goals, and quite honestly… not caring too much about it.

This feeling lingered then last night I found myself idly looking through my documents when I came across an old to do list. It was from January 2013, when I was just considering how to develop an internet presence for my psychic reading business.

As I started reading through the list I realized that I’d accomplished every single thing on it, even things I’d forgotten about as my attention was drawn elsewhere.

If you’re familiar with my Law of Attraction and personal coaching then you may be thinking “of course you did,” but let me tell you as one who helps people accomplish goals every day… it’s a lot easier to fall of the wagon when it’s your own goals.

Anyway, reading this list helped me to remember everything I had accomplished, which was a lot, and I spent the next 20 minutes or so consciously appreciating how far I’ve come.

I left the exercise with a renewed sense of commitment and drive to continue building the business I love. Cool 🙂

So the next time you run across an old to-do list, take a moment to skim through it and congratulate yourself for everything you checked off. You deserve it!

 Posted by at 4:15 pm
Oct 072014
 

Maria's Rules To Live By - Know Yourself And Stay True To Who You AreKnow yourself and stay true to who you are.

This is a hard rule to follow!

From the moment the egg and sperm that will become us meet, we receive input from the earth plane. Much of it is confusing and contradictory, and it’s difficult to separate “us” from the world’s idea of “us.”  As a result we get confused, and by the time we’re teenagers we’re often so separated from who we really are that many of us never find the way back.

But there is a way back and if you’re brave enough to take that journey you may find that true happiness and fulfillment comes from re-discovering who you are on very deep levels and living in a way that is totally in sync. wiht that identity.

So how do you do it?  In a word…

Dedication.

  • Dedication to starting the journey back to self.
  • Dedication to keeping going when you’re tired and hungry and lonely.
  • Dedication to paying attention and really, deeply listening.
  • Dedication to shutting out the voices of the world and ignoring it’s glitter and glamour.
  • Dedication to acting on guidance from our inner voice, even if it seems absolutely crazy.
  • Dedication to being alone and sometimes incredibly lonely.
  • Dedication to throwing out everything you think you know and being open to things that may seem terrifying and even life threatening.
  • Dedication to questioning yourself over and over and letting go of those parts that you thought were truly you but that turned out weren’t.
  • Dedication to a never ending journey.

Knowing yourself takes a lifetime and you’re never going to get it done. But that’s the cool thing about it because as you may have heard, it’s the journey, not the destination that makes life worth living. It’s the adventures we have, the people we meet, the things we do, the places we go and all the experiences of life that create happiness and fulfillment. It’s telling those stories around the campfire while realizing that you’re not done, but only pausing in the never-ending story of YOU!

Every moment of every day you have the opportunity to stop, listen and choose. Take a moment right now to stop and listen to your inner voice. What is it saying? Do you hear gibberish or is its message clear? Can you hear it at all?

You will know that you’re hitting home when life begins to flow, you experience synchronicity, and your inner guidance becomes clearer and makes more sense. Your physical body will also become more energized and healthy, and you’ll be excited about life and ready to bound forward into new adventures.

Reflect carefully before doing anything, then choose your thoughts, words and actions based on your current understanding of who you are. Delight in the results, or despair in them. Whatever the outcome, take that experience to lead you into ever deeper knowing, so next time you can make a choice from that level and have another, different experience leading you to even greater insight and knowledge of your true self.

Know yourself. Stay true to who you are. Peace.

 Posted by at 10:52 am
Oct 052014
 

Ever hear of a show called Dirty Jobs?  Host Mike Rowe has made a habit of going viral on the Internet by responding to fan questions, and this one on NOT following your passion is priceless.

A big part of creating a life you love is laying a solid foundation so that you can build your life how you want it to be.  That may include following your passion from the get go, but it may not.

I can’t say it any better than Mr. Rowe so here’s a link to his response to an email from a viewer, asking why he shouldn’t follow his passion:

http://yellowhammernews.com/faithandculture/alabamian-gets-schooled-mike-rowe-dirty-jobs/

 Posted by at 1:52 pm
Sep 132014
 

Ancestor-VoicesA lot of people ask me to help them figure out what is the right way for them to live in this world.  That’s a trick question of course, as it’s different for everyone, but after talking with a client who is having a lot of trouble in this area I was thinking about it and perusing some of my favorite blogs when I came across this post on Thulean Perspective: http://thuleanperspective.com/2013/02/13/i-trow-i-hung-on-that-windy-tree/

At the end of the post was this quote, which really struck a chord with me and spoke to my client’s query:

You can read a thousand books by so-called scholars and learn nothing, or you can listen to your blood, to the voices of your forebears, to your intuition and you will understand it all in less than a second. ~ Varg Virkernes

Wow this is a powerful statement!

What an amazing reminder that our knowing and personal truth is within us just waiting to be tapped.

From birth we are taught to look outward for answers. We’re taught that “they” know better than we do for ourselves and that we better listen to our elders, religion and different authorities to know how to live. We’re also inundated with messages from various groups and from the media who have their own agenda, not to mention they want to make sure we keep consuming and buying whatever it is they’re selling.

Wrong, Wrong, Wrong!

You are NOT here to live for anyone but YOU. No one knows better than you what is right for you.

When you take the time to sit back and listen to your own voice you’ll finally understand who you are, why you’re here and how to live.

Of course I know there is a problem with this. We’re constantly bombarded with millions of messages that are NOT us that we’ve grown confused and our own voice is drowned out by the sea of propaganda. And even if we do think we’re hearing something, our intuition is often not keen enough to discern our own voice from all those around it. So what do we do?

  • Meditation helps if you can calm your mind long enough to quiet the non-stop chatter of the world. While guided meditations and listening to music are fine, quiet and freedom from all distractions will make it easier to hear your own voice most clearly.
  • Speaking of that taking a break from modern conveniences can also go a long way to helping you hear yourself once again. This is tricky to do as we’re so accustom to the buzz of appliances and electricity we don’t even realize how much in the background they are until the power goes off. If you don’t believe me try flipping your main breaker off and you’ll be amazed at how truly quiet your house becomes.
  • Spending time in nature can also help you reconnect with yourself and also with the earth, which is our biological and physical home. Again make sure you’re far enough out so the sounds you’re hearing are truly nature, without the buzz of overhead wires, passing cars and such. It’s amazing how different the world sounds, looks and smells when you are really, truly away from civilization.
  • We can also look to our ancestors for information about who we are. Whether you believe in reincarnation or not, genetically we all carry the blood of our forbearers and therefore we can find clues about who we are by studying how they lived.   This is why multiculturalism is dangerous to those looking to find their inner voice. The more we dilute our ancestry the more muddled our voice becomes, until we are entirely uncertain of who we are at all. This makes us easy prey for those who would influence us to live how they see fit, and also leaves us very unhappy in our lives with no clue why or what to do about it.
  • In line with this, traditions can deepen and solidify our sense of self. Now this can be tricky as many of us have had foreign traditions foisted on us by people who have their own agenda. These people may be well meaning, but they may also be completely out of sync with who you are and how you want to live. Better to study your ancestry and learn the traditions of your bloodline then embrace those that ring true for you. You may find that certain things you thought were deep seeded beliefs or traditions are in fact very recent additions to your family or culture. By going beyond the surface to long standing, ancient traditions that are many generations old , you’ll discover traditions that have real meaning to you as well as a profound and life bringing affect on your well being and happiness.
  • And make sure to practice, practice, practice. It’s so important to keep talking to yourself, keep listening, and keep learning how to discern your voice from the rest of the world. Small things like asking which flavor of ice cream to get or weather to turn left or right can do a lot to strengthen your voice and help you hear it more clearly. The more you practice the better you’ll get at hearing yourself and understanding the unique language you speak.

Finally, I want to say that you may still seek outside information as no one is born into the world knowing how to navigate human form. Just don’t take any of that information as written in stone. Take it in and consider it, but then look inward to make sure it jives with your true self. If not throw it out. You don’t need it.

 Posted by at 9:27 pm
Sep 112014
 

We all do it. Say we want to do something, complain that we’re not doing it, resolve to do it, then still don’t quite get to it.

We’re professional procrastinators, masters of excuses, and world class self-beater-uppers.

Yet it things don’t get done.

Why?

In large part it’s about comfort/discomfort. Until we reach that critical point of discomfort, most of us simply don’t get over the inertia of the status-quo.

Then when we do reach it, we boomerang the opposite direction, going full force toward that which we kept putting off, only to snap sharply back as our bungee of comfort gets stretched too tight. Very few of us ever really break that cord, so the change we want to make feels like effort – huge effort – and it’s just too dang hard to keep up for the long term.

That’s why diets ultimately fail, exercise plans don’t last past a few weeks, and attempts at getting organized don’t quite make it past the planning or “got 1 drawer done” stage. We spend lots of money on gadgets, programs and people to help us with this stuff, as if money can magically change who we are.

But it can’t, so we end up chasing solution after solution but ultimately things don’t change. At least not unless we decide to remain diligent forever. And who wants to do that? Not me!

So what do you do if you really, truly want a different life experience than you have but you’re not really doing much about it.

The first step, which seems completely counterproductive, is to stop trying. Stop thinking about it, planning, beating yourself up for failing, and all that. Accept that you are who you are and this is how life is for you. Because right now it is. Accept it, embrace it and love it!

Crazy huh?

But do it anyway. Love it as much as you ever loved anything. Love it until you’re bursting at the seams with the pure ecstasy of procrastination and mediocrity!

Then from that platform, bursting with love, expand into something more. Expand into a bigger bubble of you. If you’re larger than you want to be, then be the fat person who loves food and expands into completely enjoying the experience of eating. Give yourself permission to eat whatever and whenever you want. Give yourself permission to enjoy life at your current size and level of energy. Get new clothes. Make yourself beautiful. LOVE who you are – as you are.

Same goes with everything else. If you’re messy then revel in that messiness. If you’re tired then spend every moment you can sleeping, if you battle with laundry then let it pile up, loving the mountains of soft clothes all around you. LOVE IT! Love it completely and without shame. Absolutely LOVE whatever it is you previously wanted to change and fully embrace the experience! I mean it. Do this until you’re absolutely thrilled with whatever it is you used to beat yourself up about.

And as you do you’ll find that you start naturally seeing and doing things differently. You may find different foods appeal to you, or you one day decide to clear out the laundry room for another project or you find your kitchen somehow got organized. It won’t seem like a struggle or that you did anything different, but yet something, somewhere will have changed and you WILL be doing something different. You’ll talk different and walk a little taller as your confidence soars. You will become interested in things that you were “supposed” to do before but never quite started. And over time you will find that the thing you used to complain and beat yourself up about has mysteriously disappeared from your life. And even if it hasn’t, it won’t matter because you’ll have made peace with it and spend your says focusing on things you actually enjoy doing.

Not because you forced change, but because you BECAME what you are now. It’s not about changing. It’s about becoming.

 Posted by at 7:42 pm
Aug 302014
 

Remember that book from years back, “Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow.”

I devoured that book and wholeheartedly believed the Gospel it, and so many other books like it, were preaching.

And if that concept works for you then great! Go for it 🙂

But it didn’t work for me. First because I couldn’t figure out anything I loved enough to want to do it all the time, second because what I love has changed over the years and if I was still doing what I loved as a 20 year old I’d be miserable today and third because as nice as the concept seems, there are simply a lot of things I love that don’t and never will make money, nor would I want them to.

I love sitting on the porch in the morning and there are days I’d do it all day if I could. In fact I used to joke that the house could burn down and I’d be happy as long as the porch remained for me to sit on.

I love the simple, everyday tasks involved in taking care of my family, from cooking to washing dishes to folding laundry and lots of other mundane stuff. I love it because it’s for people I love but if I tried to do it as a career I’d hate it.

I love taking long drives on unknown roads, without time constraints or an agenda.

I love playing computer games. I also love turning them off when I feel like doing something else.

I love meditating, daydreaming, and zoning out from the physical world to visit my rich, inner world.

And on and on….

None of these things make money for me and I wouldn’t love any of them if they became a “job.” Yet they’re an important part of my life and I wouldn’t want to give them up or shove them aside in pursuit of wealth.

So if what you love doesn’t pay the bills, what, what CAN you do that’s enjoyable enough to keep doing, engaging enough to not kill you from boredom or drudgery, and lucrative enough to make the financial rewards worth doing it on the days you don’t really want to?

The key is figuring out how to do work you like “well enough” in a way that pays “good enough” and – this is the important part – integrating it in your life in a way that you have the time and flexibility to do the things you really love. And in keeping with flexibility, another key is understanding that what you love will change over time and so you have to remain open to new ideas and desires and brave enough change what you’re doing and how you’re doing it when it’s no longer working for your spirit.

Figure that out and you’re well on the way to living a life you truly love!

 Posted by at 9:56 pm
Aug 082014
 

So I’ve been procrastinating for 2 weeks on writing this post on procrastination 🙂

Aren’t we all good at doing this? In fact we can be so good at putting things off that sometimes we do it for years. And we’re also really good at beating ourselves up for putting things off, as if that will motivate us to get things done faster. Not!

So why do we do it? And what can we do to not do it? Or should we even not do it? Hmmm…..

Over the years I’ve concluded there are two main reason people procrastinate:

  1. They don’t want to do whatever it is they’re not doing.
  2. Their subconscious and the Universe are lining things up and the “not doing” is actually part of a greater plan.

Let’s look at them one by one.

I don’t want to do this!

It’s pretty obvious that we put off things we don’t want to do. Sometimes we even do this at the expense of being able to enjoy things we do want to do. Think about kids who aren’t allowed to go out and play until their room is clean. A mere 20 minutes of what they describe as “torture” will get them out the door for hours of fun and play with their friends. But they’ll groan and complain for hours, not getting that task done and acting like their entire life is ruined because of it. Then predictably, there’s no time left in the day to go play, which reinforces how absolutely torturous room cleaning really is!

As students we play a different version of this game, putting off studying or completing school assignments at the last possible moment. Of course we have every intention of getting them done early or pacing the studying but because we really don’t want to do it we put it off. Sometimes we do this to the detriment of other things we’d rather be doing, so there’s the added anger about not being able to do what we want. The difference between this and the child not cleaning his or her room is that this time it’s self imposed. So instead of being mad at a parent, we’re mad at ourselves. This chips away at self-esteem and causes a lot of frustration and anger.

As adults the theme continues, putting off work obligations until the last minute, missing deadlines, and so on. Then because we goofed off or didn’t prioritize, we have to work late to get things done, sometimes missing things we want to do. This puts a strain on our relationships too, as we miss family events for catch up work. Before we know it our kids are grown and we realize we’ve missed many precious moments – all because of procrastination.

It also puts a strain on our finances, as putting off taking care of small things can lead to huge expense and frustration. Just had a client recently who ignored a “slightly leaky dishwasher” which then turned into having to not only fix that but replace the entire kitchen floor too. This leads to not having the money to do things we enjoy, which makes us mad at ourselves for not being on top of things. It also leaves us full of regret as we age, when we thing of all the things we wanted to do but didn’t because we didn’t have the money.

So the moral of this story is: When not wanting to do something becomes a habit of procrastination, you mess up your life.

You miss out on a lot you’d rather be doing and you also cause yourself stress and frustration, as well as loss of self-esteem as you beat yourself up for not getting things done.

And once it becomes a habit, procrastination becomes ingrained and gets harder and harder to kick. In other words – we become pros in procrastinating getting rid of procrastination and find ourselves caught in an endless loop.

Now let’s move on to the second reason for procrastinating.

 The Universe is telling me not to do it just yet.

This isn’t as obvious as the other reason but very important. Sometimes we’re not really procrastinating, but being guided to not do something because the Universe is lining things up for something better.

I’ve experienced this many times as something I was procrastinating on resolved itself, often in a better way than I could have done it myself. I’ve had people pick up and complete projects I was putting off, and in the process discovered hidden talents I didn’t know they possessed. I’ve put off small repairs to discover later I would have had to undo all my work anyway because a bigger repair was on the horizon. An example of this was when I put off replacing the roof. It needed to be done but it wasn’t critical yet (I didn’t have buckets catching water all over the house) and I kept putting it off. Turned out well though because a tornado came through and knocked half the roof off. So yeah, the Universe knew this was coming and kept nudging me to put it off a little longer. And bonus, insurance covered the cost so it saved me a lot of money too.

So you see… sometimes procrastination is a gentle nudge from the Universe to hold off a while because things are coming together behind the scenes and it’s not quite time for you to take action.

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How to deal with procrastination.

So ok, now that we’ve covered the two major reasons we procrastinate, what can we do about it?

What I do is always assume I’m procrastinating for a reason. Meaning the Universe is holding me back and it will all make sense soon. By taking this approach I don’t beat myself up about it because I know it’s part of a larger plan. It also enables me to take a proactive approach to moving things forward.

So first, when I notice I’m procrastinating, I stop and have a little conversation with the Universe. I say “Universe, I know this needs to get done and I’m quite blatantly putting it off. If this is something I need to take care of then I need the inspiration and drive to get it done. If this is something someone else needs to take care of then I need to know who so I can get it delegated. And If this is part of a larger plan then let me know and I’m happy to roll with it and put it in your hands.”

Then I do this, which makes all the difference in the world:

I assign the task to the Universe. I say quite simply and firmly “This needs to get done so handle it.” I don’t care if I end up doing it in the end or if someone else does. The important thing is I put the responsibility squarely on the Universe.

Then I wait a minute, and if no inspiration is forthcoming, I purposely back-burner the thing I’m putting off for a short period of time. By “short” I mean 30-60 minutes at most. I give myself another assignment, set a timer and go. Then when the time’s up I revisit the thing I’m avoiding and ask again if I’m ready to make progress on it. I remind the Universe that it needs to take care of it, and again if nothing is forthcoming I set myself to another task for another period of time. I usually keep to the 30-60 minute schedule, though If I’m guided I’ll wait a few hours or even a couple days before bringing it up again.

However long the time period between asking again, I keep doing it until the thing either gets done or doesn’t need to get done anymore. For example, I’ve put off creating reports for work and not gotten any inspiration for days, to find out in the end the report isn’t needed anymore or the parameters have changed so much I’d have to redo it all anyway. See?

Now an important point is to not spend time trying to talk yourself into getting started, beat yourself up, or try to force action. Keep insisting the Universe has it covered and go about your day, revisiting the thing from time to time but not stressing about it. If there’s a deadline you can remind the Universe of that but really… don’t stress.

What will happen is that you’ll be more productive and get a lot of other things done on your list (those little procrastinations). That’s because you are purposely NOT doing the main thing, but assigning yourself something in its place.

You’ll also find you spend a lot less time on things that are what I call “time suckers.” You know… mindlessly surfing the internet, zoning in front of the TV, chit chatting with co workers and the like. Not that you can’t do these things. You can. But make them an “assignment” rather than simply falling into them, got it?

Ok I’m done writing this post and it’s time to get back to one of the things on my procrastination list. Checking in now….

 Posted by at 6:06 pm