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Oct 152014
 

to-do-list

The other day I was feeling quite unaccomplished, like my business wasn’t really going anywhere and my goals weren’t being met. I was kind of beating myself up for not being more focused, missing more than a few self-imposed deadlines, not always meeting my goals, and quite honestly… not caring too much about it.

This feeling lingered then last night I found myself idly looking through my documents when I came across an old to do list. It was from January 2013, when I was just considering how to develop an internet presence for my psychic reading business.

As I started reading through the list I realized that I’d accomplished every single thing on it, even things I’d forgotten about as my attention was drawn elsewhere.

If you’re familiar with my Law of Attraction and personal coaching then you may be thinking “of course you did,” but let me tell you as one who helps people accomplish goals every day… it’s a lot easier to fall of the wagon when it’s your own goals.

Anyway, reading this list helped me to remember everything I had accomplished, which was a lot, and I spent the next 20 minutes or so consciously appreciating how far I’ve come.

I left the exercise with a renewed sense of commitment and drive to continue building the business I love. Cool 🙂

So the next time you run across an old to-do list, take a moment to skim through it and congratulate yourself for everything you checked off. You deserve it!

 Posted by at 4:15 pm
Oct 052014
 

Ever hear of a show called Dirty Jobs?  Host Mike Rowe has made a habit of going viral on the Internet by responding to fan questions, and this one on NOT following your passion is priceless.

A big part of creating a life you love is laying a solid foundation so that you can build your life how you want it to be.  That may include following your passion from the get go, but it may not.

I can’t say it any better than Mr. Rowe so here’s a link to his response to an email from a viewer, asking why he shouldn’t follow his passion:

http://yellowhammernews.com/faithandculture/alabamian-gets-schooled-mike-rowe-dirty-jobs/

 Posted by at 1:52 pm
Sep 222014
 

A few weeks ago I posted an article called Do what you love? Yeah, Right and I got a bit of backlash from the Law of Attraction crowd. As a long time LOA coach and someone well versed in the art of deliberate creation, you’d think that I’d put a more sunny spin on the whole “do what you love thing.”

I don’t because it’s not reality for many people. I stand by what I said about finding something you enjoy well enough, that pays the bills, and gives you the flexibility to pursue those things you really love, but that you have no intention making a career out of.

I also stand by saying that there are things that you might love but if they turned into a money thing you’d grow to hate them. I have a friend who’s an excellent healer and who doesn’t charge (other than donations) because she says she tried charging and it killed the joy of her work and turned into “just a job.”

So yeah…. what we do for work isn’t always what we do for the joy of doing it and vice-versa.

Having said that, you CAN create a life you love doing things you enjoy doing. It often just has to happen incrementally. And that’s the secret.

See we put these requests out to the Universe and we have this idea that they’re going to magically appear in full form, ready to go. Sometimes that happens and then we get to do a great big happy dance! But more often, things come to us in tiny bits and pieces over time.

There’s nothing wrong with that. Our ability to create quickly and easily is a skill that develops as we work with it so it makes sense that things will take time, especially if we’re new to it.  Additionally, some things are just so huge that we have invisible blocks that keep us from getting there.  By delivering our orders incrementally, the Universe is helping us get past those blocks in a way that we can handle.

Otherwise, we may get overloaded or freak out and actually reject the thing we want.

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So how does this incremental manifesting work?  How about an example…

Wedding-bouquetLet’s say you absolutely LOVE flowers and want to have an amazing business providing custom bouquets and flower arrangements for celebrity weddings.  Unfortunately, you live in the middle of Iowa and the biggest celebrity you know is Bessie the prize winning cow… so yeah, your dream may take a few steps to come into full reality.

During those steps you may grow a flower garden, experiment with developing your own specialty flowers, work for the town florist, make flower arrangements for free for your friends’ weddings, make Bessie a bouquet for winning the blue ribbon at the county fair (which she promptly eats), enter floral contests, submit dozens of articles to publications, teach classes on how to make flower arrangements, then finally open your own shop and spend your days making boring rose bouquets for Valentine’s day and mundane arrangements for weddings and other events, and maybe have a gig providing live fresh flowers for a local restaurant.

Which all seems to lead nowhere until one day the Mayor has a special event for which that restaurant asks you to make something fancy….

…And this leads to you finally getting your big break as the Mayor loves your fancy restaurant centerpiece and hires you to do the floral arrangements for her daughter’s wedding, which gets you a blurb and photo in the local paper, which is seen by the best friend of a cousin of a semi-known celebrity who calls you to have you make a special arrangement for that cousin, which is then seen by the semi-known celebrity who loves it and orders one for her friend who is a caterer to the stars who loves it so much that she calls and Bam! You get your big break! Finally! And all this only took 15 years 😀

Sooo……………….. did you end up doing what you love AND getting paid for it? YES! Did it happen quickly and effortlessly? No. There were probably tears and frustration when things didn’t work out and many days when you thought if you had to make one more stupid rose bouquet you’d scream and days when you thought your big break was coming but you somehow missed it. There were also days like around Valentine’s day when you worked non-stop getting those orders completed and out the door in time and came home exhausted and aching so badly that you seriously doubted whether your dream was ever going to come true and if you were even in the right business after all.

But you got there. And that’s a huge Law of Attraction secret people don’t like to talk about. There are no promises of “easy and fast manifestations.”

The only promise is that the more we focus on what we want and keep our dreams in view, the more likely they are to manifest.  Not “guaranteed.”  More likely.  This is why I advise people to create a life that has a good mix of what you love doing and what you do for work, and as time and opportunity arises you can blend love and work more, keep pursuing your dreams, and bit by bit get closer to spending ever bigger percentages of your days doing what you love.

You may never get to 100% but if you keeping making incremental steps in that direction I can promise you’ll end life a whole lot happier than you would have if you’d just given up completely and settled for doing what you despise just to survive.

It’s incremental… what’s your first step?

 Posted by at 8:17 am
Aug 302014
 

Remember that book from years back, “Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow.”

I devoured that book and wholeheartedly believed the Gospel it, and so many other books like it, were preaching.

And if that concept works for you then great! Go for it 🙂

But it didn’t work for me. First because I couldn’t figure out anything I loved enough to want to do it all the time, second because what I love has changed over the years and if I was still doing what I loved as a 20 year old I’d be miserable today and third because as nice as the concept seems, there are simply a lot of things I love that don’t and never will make money, nor would I want them to.

I love sitting on the porch in the morning and there are days I’d do it all day if I could. In fact I used to joke that the house could burn down and I’d be happy as long as the porch remained for me to sit on.

I love the simple, everyday tasks involved in taking care of my family, from cooking to washing dishes to folding laundry and lots of other mundane stuff. I love it because it’s for people I love but if I tried to do it as a career I’d hate it.

I love taking long drives on unknown roads, without time constraints or an agenda.

I love playing computer games. I also love turning them off when I feel like doing something else.

I love meditating, daydreaming, and zoning out from the physical world to visit my rich, inner world.

And on and on….

None of these things make money for me and I wouldn’t love any of them if they became a “job.” Yet they’re an important part of my life and I wouldn’t want to give them up or shove them aside in pursuit of wealth.

So if what you love doesn’t pay the bills, what, what CAN you do that’s enjoyable enough to keep doing, engaging enough to not kill you from boredom or drudgery, and lucrative enough to make the financial rewards worth doing it on the days you don’t really want to?

The key is figuring out how to do work you like “well enough” in a way that pays “good enough” and – this is the important part – integrating it in your life in a way that you have the time and flexibility to do the things you really love. And in keeping with flexibility, another key is understanding that what you love will change over time and so you have to remain open to new ideas and desires and brave enough change what you’re doing and how you’re doing it when it’s no longer working for your spirit.

Figure that out and you’re well on the way to living a life you truly love!

 Posted by at 9:56 pm
Aug 082014
 

So I’ve been procrastinating for 2 weeks on writing this post on procrastination 🙂

Aren’t we all good at doing this? In fact we can be so good at putting things off that sometimes we do it for years. And we’re also really good at beating ourselves up for putting things off, as if that will motivate us to get things done faster. Not!

So why do we do it? And what can we do to not do it? Or should we even not do it? Hmmm…..

Over the years I’ve concluded there are two main reason people procrastinate:

  1. They don’t want to do whatever it is they’re not doing.
  2. Their subconscious and the Universe are lining things up and the “not doing” is actually part of a greater plan.

Let’s look at them one by one.

I don’t want to do this!

It’s pretty obvious that we put off things we don’t want to do. Sometimes we even do this at the expense of being able to enjoy things we do want to do. Think about kids who aren’t allowed to go out and play until their room is clean. A mere 20 minutes of what they describe as “torture” will get them out the door for hours of fun and play with their friends. But they’ll groan and complain for hours, not getting that task done and acting like their entire life is ruined because of it. Then predictably, there’s no time left in the day to go play, which reinforces how absolutely torturous room cleaning really is!

As students we play a different version of this game, putting off studying or completing school assignments at the last possible moment. Of course we have every intention of getting them done early or pacing the studying but because we really don’t want to do it we put it off. Sometimes we do this to the detriment of other things we’d rather be doing, so there’s the added anger about not being able to do what we want. The difference between this and the child not cleaning his or her room is that this time it’s self imposed. So instead of being mad at a parent, we’re mad at ourselves. This chips away at self-esteem and causes a lot of frustration and anger.

As adults the theme continues, putting off work obligations until the last minute, missing deadlines, and so on. Then because we goofed off or didn’t prioritize, we have to work late to get things done, sometimes missing things we want to do. This puts a strain on our relationships too, as we miss family events for catch up work. Before we know it our kids are grown and we realize we’ve missed many precious moments – all because of procrastination.

It also puts a strain on our finances, as putting off taking care of small things can lead to huge expense and frustration. Just had a client recently who ignored a “slightly leaky dishwasher” which then turned into having to not only fix that but replace the entire kitchen floor too. This leads to not having the money to do things we enjoy, which makes us mad at ourselves for not being on top of things. It also leaves us full of regret as we age, when we thing of all the things we wanted to do but didn’t because we didn’t have the money.

So the moral of this story is: When not wanting to do something becomes a habit of procrastination, you mess up your life.

You miss out on a lot you’d rather be doing and you also cause yourself stress and frustration, as well as loss of self-esteem as you beat yourself up for not getting things done.

And once it becomes a habit, procrastination becomes ingrained and gets harder and harder to kick. In other words – we become pros in procrastinating getting rid of procrastination and find ourselves caught in an endless loop.

Now let’s move on to the second reason for procrastinating.

 The Universe is telling me not to do it just yet.

This isn’t as obvious as the other reason but very important. Sometimes we’re not really procrastinating, but being guided to not do something because the Universe is lining things up for something better.

I’ve experienced this many times as something I was procrastinating on resolved itself, often in a better way than I could have done it myself. I’ve had people pick up and complete projects I was putting off, and in the process discovered hidden talents I didn’t know they possessed. I’ve put off small repairs to discover later I would have had to undo all my work anyway because a bigger repair was on the horizon. An example of this was when I put off replacing the roof. It needed to be done but it wasn’t critical yet (I didn’t have buckets catching water all over the house) and I kept putting it off. Turned out well though because a tornado came through and knocked half the roof off. So yeah, the Universe knew this was coming and kept nudging me to put it off a little longer. And bonus, insurance covered the cost so it saved me a lot of money too.

So you see… sometimes procrastination is a gentle nudge from the Universe to hold off a while because things are coming together behind the scenes and it’s not quite time for you to take action.

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How to deal with procrastination.

So ok, now that we’ve covered the two major reasons we procrastinate, what can we do about it?

What I do is always assume I’m procrastinating for a reason. Meaning the Universe is holding me back and it will all make sense soon. By taking this approach I don’t beat myself up about it because I know it’s part of a larger plan. It also enables me to take a proactive approach to moving things forward.

So first, when I notice I’m procrastinating, I stop and have a little conversation with the Universe. I say “Universe, I know this needs to get done and I’m quite blatantly putting it off. If this is something I need to take care of then I need the inspiration and drive to get it done. If this is something someone else needs to take care of then I need to know who so I can get it delegated. And If this is part of a larger plan then let me know and I’m happy to roll with it and put it in your hands.”

Then I do this, which makes all the difference in the world:

I assign the task to the Universe. I say quite simply and firmly “This needs to get done so handle it.” I don’t care if I end up doing it in the end or if someone else does. The important thing is I put the responsibility squarely on the Universe.

Then I wait a minute, and if no inspiration is forthcoming, I purposely back-burner the thing I’m putting off for a short period of time. By “short” I mean 30-60 minutes at most. I give myself another assignment, set a timer and go. Then when the time’s up I revisit the thing I’m avoiding and ask again if I’m ready to make progress on it. I remind the Universe that it needs to take care of it, and again if nothing is forthcoming I set myself to another task for another period of time. I usually keep to the 30-60 minute schedule, though If I’m guided I’ll wait a few hours or even a couple days before bringing it up again.

However long the time period between asking again, I keep doing it until the thing either gets done or doesn’t need to get done anymore. For example, I’ve put off creating reports for work and not gotten any inspiration for days, to find out in the end the report isn’t needed anymore or the parameters have changed so much I’d have to redo it all anyway. See?

Now an important point is to not spend time trying to talk yourself into getting started, beat yourself up, or try to force action. Keep insisting the Universe has it covered and go about your day, revisiting the thing from time to time but not stressing about it. If there’s a deadline you can remind the Universe of that but really… don’t stress.

What will happen is that you’ll be more productive and get a lot of other things done on your list (those little procrastinations). That’s because you are purposely NOT doing the main thing, but assigning yourself something in its place.

You’ll also find you spend a lot less time on things that are what I call “time suckers.” You know… mindlessly surfing the internet, zoning in front of the TV, chit chatting with co workers and the like. Not that you can’t do these things. You can. But make them an “assignment” rather than simply falling into them, got it?

Ok I’m done writing this post and it’s time to get back to one of the things on my procrastination list. Checking in now….

 Posted by at 6:06 pm
Jul 152014
 

Worrying cannot change the future but it sure wreaks havoc on the present.We all know worrying doesn’t help us, and here are 13 reasons why:

  1. It probably won’t happen anyway – Did you know that 95% or more of the things we worry about never happen? Or if they do they’re often way less terrible than we imagined. Yet we spend countless hours of mental and emotional energy on things that likely aren’t even going to happen.
  2. It takes time away from thinking about other things and planning for things that would benefit us – When you worry you give mental and emotional energy to worst case scenarios. This often effectively puts your life on hold so you can’t keep working toward other goals. As a teenager I remember blowing my exams because I was worried to the point of being sick over something that had nothing to do with school. Because of this I had to work harder the next semester to catch up. All because I was preoccupied with something that never even happened.
  3. It doesn’t change what the person you’re worrying about is doing – If you’re worried about a person, know that all your angst won’t change one iota of their attitude or behavior. Quite the opposite actually. If you worry and consequently keep nagging them about it, they’ll probably do what you don’t want them to do even more.
  4. It doesn’t change the situation or event either – If you are worried about an upcoming event or specific situation, know that worrying won’t change it. Yes there may be some trepidation and that may be normal, but obsessing about it will only make it that much harder for you to deal with it when the time comes. And if you go in all knotted up because of worrying you probably won’t handle it as well as you could, which might make the outcome less positive than you’d like.
  5. It saps your happiness and robs you of peace & contentment (and may even ruin things for those around you) – Take a normally happy person and add worry and what do you create? Misery for everyone! When you worry you let a person or situation steal your happiness. Do you really want an outside force to have that power over you?
  6. It keeps you stuck in a loop so you can’t step back and approach things in a practical, logical way – When you worry your brain runs around in circles, thinking only of the worst possible outcomes. It can’t think outside that loop and it can’t come up with any kind of answers. If you’re dealing with a problem then you need answers, not an endless cycle of “what if.” Worrying blocks your exit from that cycle so you can’t get past the thing that’s causing the trouble.
  7. It blocks your mind of seeing possible solutions and ways to deal with what you’re worrying about – Because you’re stuck in that loop, you can’t see any solutions or endings other than the ones in the loop. And because you’re worrying, those are most likely to be very negative or worst case outcomes. Like I said in #6, worrying blocks your exit from that cycle and because of that your creative mind can’t function or be open to any possible solutions except the worst ones.
  8. It doesn’t create action toward resolving things – Worrying can be absolutely paralyzing! At the height of worrying about something, I’ve found myself so fixated on my problem that can’t get anything done. This does nothing to help my situation and everything to keep me stuck exactly where I am.
  9. It keeps you up at night when you could be productively dreaming solutions instead – Yes you can dream solutions to your problems, as I outlined in a previous post. Also losing sleep makes you grumpy and unable to think clearly the next day, and if you do it a lot you can find yourself in a chronic state of zombie-like, worrying paranoia.
  10. It gets you all freaked out about lots of possible scenarios that probably won’t even happen – Like I said above, 95% of what we worry about never materializes, so why freak out about a non-issue? Yet that’s exactly what worrying can cause.
  11. It makes you grumpy and when you’re grumpy no one wants to be around you – Self explanatory 🙂
  12. It can cause stress, paranoia, anxiety, panic attacks and a whole lot of really uncomfortable psychical symptoms – In addition to the general, freak out state that worrying can cause, it also creates psychical symptoms that can be quite uncomfortable. If you already have psychical issues the stress of worrying can even lead to major problems, and I’ve known people who have had heart attacks and other major health problems brought on by the stress that accompanies worrying.
  13. It does nothing to change the future and everything to ruin the present moment – As I’ve already detailed, the act of worrying doesn’t change anything. If anything it makes things worse because it keeps you paralyzed and unable to take action toward your desired outcome. Plus it ruins today because your mind is too full of worry to enjoy the present moment.
 Posted by at 8:08 pm
Jul 062014
 

Create your life from Maria teh Psychic

In my work I often blend psychic and intuitive readings with manifesting and deliberate creation. Why? Because while people say they want to know “their future,” what they really want is to learn how to influence that future to their idea of how things “should be.”

While this is certainly possible, there’s also a problem with this type of thinking. When you insist on creating the world according to your plan, you severely limit your possibilities. It’s like having 200 TV channels and only ever watching 5, then complaining that there’s nothing on!

See here’s the thing. You know what you know and see the world through that lens, making decisions and taking action based on those parameters. But outside of that there are entire universes that you know nothing about, many of which are far more exciting and “exactly what you want” than where you sit today. When you allow yourself to be open to these new experiences and ways of being, your life expands exponentially, possibilities you never dreamed of pop out of nowhere, and you’ll see solutions you never would have thought of otherwise.

This is incredibly exciting news, as it means you don’t have to remain stuck where you are. It’s also incredibly terrifying, as new possibilities can open up on the nightmare side of your dreams instead of the happily ever after side. You know?

And it’s the fear of the nightmare that keeps people stuck in their own little, mediocre, limited bubble of reality. “It ‘might’ be 1000 times worse out there than it is in here, so I’ll stay here even though I’m miserable.” I hear this time and time again, whether I’m doing a psychic reading and the cards urge someone to change or take a different direction or if I’m in the middle of a coaching session with someone and we hit huge blocks that bring up their deepest fears.

But guess what. It could also be 1000 times better. Or a million times! And if that’s the case (which it often is) just think of what you’re missing out on!

So the next time you catch yourself saying something “should be” a certain way or trying to force a certain outcome, stop yourself. Stop yourself and consider what else might be out there that you haven’t even imagined yet. Put out your request without trying to orchestrate the entire scenario or micro-manage every little step and sit back to watch how things unfold on their own. My bet is you’ll be both delighted and surprised at the exciting twists and turns life takes to land you…

exactly where you want to be 🙂

 Posted by at 5:39 pm
Jul 022014
 

Ninja-Creator-Maria-The-Psychic

When you’re into Law of Attraction and deliberately creating life “your way,” the people around you can muck up the works. This happens more in the beginning when you’re getting your creation ducks in a row, and still have a lot of “what you don’t want” hanging around. These influences will dissipate in time but until they do you may have to do a little Ninja Creating.

 

What is Ninja Creating?

Going underground and being a little sneaky about what you’re creating so you’re not bothered by those Debbie Downers who want to rain on your parade.

So how do you do it? You could don Ninja Clothes and slink around all day long (wouldn’t that be fun!), but more practically (and stealthily), include some of these ninja tactics in your deliberate creations:

  1. Use code – This is a big one and got me through a lot during those early days when I was learning how to sculpt my reality while still working in the corporate world around people who weren’t exactly LOA friendly. What I did was make up little symbols and strategically place them all around me.  I was pretty sneaky with this, putting little pictures on mailing labels then cutting them out in shapes and sticking them on my monitor, pencil holder, stapler and so on. I also took pictures of friends and family next to props that were symbolic to me (like next to a Buddha statue to remind me of peace, a car I wanted to remind me of that, etc.). Then I put them in normal frames and no one was the wiser. Another tactic was posting affirmations that had an outer meaning to everyone else but a special meaning to me and what I was creating. I also had plants in my office to remind me of nature, a special coin I left on my desk to remind me of wealth, and accents in green for money, purple for spiritual development, blue for healing and so on. In my desk I kept a deck of affirmation cards and every morning I’d take one out and make it my focus for the day. Are you getting the idea here?
  2. Don’t talk about what you’re doing – I know this is hard, especially with people you’re around a lot, but it’s important if you’re serious about creating what you want. The truth is most of the people around you aren’t going to understand, and most likely they’ll give you a million reasons why you shouldn’t or can’t do what you’re about to do. Others will be jealous and use biting words to try and knock you back down to their level. So don’t talk about it. And when they try to bait you simply smile and “remember” some important thing you need to take care of right away. In other words, “avoid.” What makes this so hard is that you’ll be bubbling over with excitement about the wonderful things you’re creating and it will be all but impossible to share. Instead of sharing with the naysayers, find people who will be supportive and be your cheerleaders. This may be a few close friends, people you know online, and new friends you begin to meet along your journey. In time more and more supportive people will appear in your life and the naysayers will become few and far between.
  3. Especially don’t talk to those closest to you, unless they’re on the same page – While people at work, school, or otherwise in your daily life can and do affect your mood, it’s those closest to us that create the biggest problems. I’m talking family and close friends here. Some of these turn out to be our worst enemies when it comes to us trying to improve our lives. As much as we care about these people and want them to support us, you just gotta realize that for some of them it ain’t gonna happen. It’s not that they don’t want to be supportive. It’s that from where they’re coming from in their own lives they are literally not capable of supporting you. Not in the way you need them too. So they offer what they think is support, which is in reality criticism and nay saying, all in the name of “your own good.” So as hard as it may be – just don’t include them in your deliberate creation adventures.
  4. Don’t try to change or convince anyone – In fact, don’t engage people who aren’t on your side at all. Everyone has a different opinion of how life should be lived. If they don’t agree with you then fine – leave them to themselves and others like them. This is a really important point by the way. I’ve seen so many people spend tons of time and energy trying to win people over to their way of thinking (think those born again types). I get it… you’re excited about what you’re doing and you want to share it with the world! But the world may not be ready, so let them be.
  5. Find like-minded people and develop friendships and alliances with them – This happens naturally as you align with your new way of being. Old people drop off and new come as you change inwardly. Plus in time you’ll be able to figure out really quickly who is and isn’t in alignment with your way of being, and you won’t spend a lot of time and energy on those who aren’t.

Ok that’s it. Are you ready to don your Ninja disguise and start creating out in the real world? Let me know how it goes 🙂

 Posted by at 8:11 pm